Define Your Life: Four Questions That Cut Through the Drift

A man can work hard, lead well, show up for his family, build something meaningful, and still feel like he’s drifting. That disconnect is more common than most will admit.

On Episode 254 of the March or Die podcast, Jeremy Stalnecker addresses it head-on. The problem, as he frames it, is not a lack of effort or discipline. The problem is that action without definition leads to movement without meaning.

“In spite of working hard, doing what I’m supposed to do, I still have moments where I feel like I’m drifting,” Jeremy shares. “Because I fail to connect the actions to who I believe God made me to be, what I believe God wants me to accomplish, and the way that God wants me to walk that out.”

The solution is not more activity. The solution is definition. Four questions that anchor everything else.

Where Did I Come From?

The first question is about origin. Not geography or family history. Identity.

Genesis 1:27 says, “So God created man in his own image. In the image of God created he him. Male and female created he them.” God didn’t speak humanity into existence the way He spoke the rest of creation into being. He formed man with His hand and breathed life into him directly.

Jeremy grounds the entire framework here: “If God created me with that much intentionality, then God probably doesn’t want me just drifting through my days.”

The implication is practical. If every person is created in the image of God, then no one is an accident, no one is without purpose, and no one’s days are meaningless. The roles you fill, husband, father, leader, employee, are real. But they are not the foundation. The foundation is whose you are. (This is the same trap Marcus McClain describes in his conversation about veteran identity crisis, where rank became the whole identity and removing it left nothing underneath.)

Where Am I Going?

The second question is about purpose. And Jeremy is direct about the chain: “A lack of hope flows from a lack of purpose. Purpose flows from a clear identity.”

If identity answers the question of who you are, purpose answers the question of why you’re here. 1 Peter 2:9 calls believers “a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people” for a specific reason: “that ye should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.”

The purpose is to represent God to the world around you. 1 Corinthians 10:31 puts it plainly: “Whether you eat or drink or whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

That purpose transcends job title, income, rank, or season of life. It answers the question that every veteran, first responder, and leader eventually faces: what remains when the role changes? (For a deeper look at what faith after trauma actually demands, we’ve written about that separately.) It holds whether you’re leading a company or sitting in a hospital room. It is the same on your best day and your worst.

How Will I Get There?

This is where Jeremy pushes past what he calls “church talk.” Saying your purpose is to glorify God is true. It can also be empty if it never gets specific.

Three practical steps emerge from the episode:

Surrender self. Galatians 2:20: “I am crucified with Christ. Nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.” The purpose cannot be fulfilled through self-promotion. The moment the mission becomes about personal glory, it stops reflecting the God it was meant to point toward.

Follow the example of Christ. 1 Peter 2:21: “Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow his steps.” The gospels provide a detailed picture of how Jesus interacted with people, made decisions, and carried the weight of His calling. That example is the operational guide.

Live in dependence on Him. Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your paths.” Self-reliance is the default for high performers. Scripture calls for the opposite.

What Keeps Me Grounded?

The fourth question is about durability. Every defined life will face seasons where the definition gets blurry. Busyness accumulates. Fatigue sets in. The question “does it even matter?” surfaces again.

Jeremy points to what some call a life verse. A grounding truth that clears the fog when everything else gets loud.

His anchor is Acts 20:24, where Paul states: “None of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy and the ministry which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God.”

Paul had defined his life. When the drift came, when the persecution mounted, when the cost became extreme, he had something to return to. One sentence that held everything in place.

Jeremy’s challenge is specific: take an hour, half a day, whatever it requires. Get quiet. Bring a Bible and a notebook. Answer the four questions. Write them down. Because a life that has never been defined will always feel like it’s drifting, no matter how full the calendar gets.

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